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Tale of the tape

RG3′s Knee Vs. The Fiscal Cliff: Which Wintertime Disaster Will Screw Washington Longer?

Ok team! A couple pieces of news happened in Washington recently, and for the love of all things holy we can’t understand either one. So today, we’re going to do a comprehensive study of both RG3’s crippling knee injury and the recent Fiscal Cliff deal, and try to see which of the two is set to have a more devastating effect on Washington DC.

(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)

RGIII's Knee

The Fiscal Cliff

According to CBSSports.com, "a direct repair" of the lateral collateral ligament and "a re-do of [Griffin's] previous ACL reconstruction." Wait, wait, wait. What happened?! Per Forbes, “[T]he current 10/15/25/28/33/35% individual tax rate brackets [will revert] to the pre-2001 rates of 15/28/31/36/39.6%."
The most exciting player in the NFL shredded his leg. I see. In English? Your taxes are going up something fierce.
Well, let's be honest. It's the Washington Redskins. They had something like this coming to them sooner or later. AUGH! NO! What!? Why?! I don't...know. I don't think anyone knows. It was a bunch of people on both sides fighting and now we have a deal that nobody's really happy with, and everyone's paying more money.
A lot of people seem to think Mike Shanahan waited a little too long to pull RG3 out of the game. WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! A lot of people think that John Boehner waited a little too long to...heh...heh heh..."Boehner."
Long term? RG3 will be fine. He's expected to make a full recovery. So what are the long term implications? Hell if I know. But it sounds like the deficit will reduce, so...it's better?
If RG3's recovery is delayed, you're stuck with the respectable - but severely non-thrilling - Kirk Cousins. And the short term implications? You have less money to drink your face off at Kirk Cousin-led games.

We'll just call it a tie

(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)

Nobody. Nobody is the winner. Unless you're a fan of the Giants, Eagles or Cowboys. Otherwise everyone’s poor and bored.

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