92-3-the-fan b

Tale of the tape

RG3′s Knee Vs. The Fiscal Cliff: Which Wintertime Disaster Will Screw Washington Longer?

Ok team! A couple pieces of news happened in Washington recently, and for the love of all things holy we can’t understand either one. So today, we’re going to do a comprehensive study of both RG3’s crippling knee injury and the recent Fiscal Cliff deal, and try to see which of the two is set to have a more devastating effect on Washington DC.

(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)
(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)

RGIII's Knee

The Fiscal Cliff

According to CBSSports.com, "a direct repair" of the lateral collateral ligament and "a re-do of [Griffin's] previous ACL reconstruction." Wait, wait, wait. What happened?! Per Forbes, “[T]he current 10/15/25/28/33/35% individual tax rate brackets [will revert] to the pre-2001 rates of 15/28/31/36/39.6%."
The most exciting player in the NFL shredded his leg. I see. In English? Your taxes are going up something fierce.
Well, let's be honest. It's the Washington Redskins. They had something like this coming to them sooner or later. AUGH! NO! What!? Why?! I don't...know. I don't think anyone knows. It was a bunch of people on both sides fighting and now we have a deal that nobody's really happy with, and everyone's paying more money.
A lot of people seem to think Mike Shanahan waited a little too long to pull RG3 out of the game. WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! A lot of people think that John Boehner waited a little too long to...heh...heh heh..."Boehner."
Long term? RG3 will be fine. He's expected to make a full recovery. So what are the long term implications? Hell if I know. But it sounds like the deficit will reduce, so...it's better?
If RG3's recovery is delayed, you're stuck with the respectable - but severely non-thrilling - Kirk Cousins. And the short term implications? You have less money to drink your face off at Kirk Cousin-led games.

We'll just call it a tie

(credit: Al Bello/Getty Images) House Speaker John Boehner (R), R-OH, and Rep. Eric Cantor (L), R-VA, walk to a meeting. (credit: MOLLY RILEY/AFP/Getty Images)

Nobody. Nobody is the winner. Unless you're a fan of the Giants, Eagles or Cowboys. Otherwise everyone’s poor and bored.

More Tales of the tape

  1. (credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images) (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
    National Championship Matchup: #8 Kentucky Vs. #7 Connecticut

    No. 8-seeded Kentucky stunned No. 2-seeded Michigan in the Elite Eight and shut down Wisconsin’s Frank Kaminsky and the Badgers offense in the Final Four.

  2. (credit: Elsa/Getty Images) (credit: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
    Semifinal Matchup: #7 Connecticut Vs. #1 Florida

    It was three years ago that Jim Calhoun led the UConn Huskies to the college basketball national championship. That Final Four included two of the teams in this year’s Final Four in UConn and Kentucky

  3. (credit: Andy Lyons/Getty Images) (credit: Jeff Gross/Getty Images)
    Semifinal Matchup: #8 Kentucky Vs. #2 Wisconsin

    Wisconsin—who was overshadowed by other top Big Ten teams in the tournament in Michigan and Michigan State—is now the last man standing and hoping to win it all with the likes of big man, Frank Kaminsky.

See all Tales of the Tape